Post-Apocalypse

The dust has settled. The house is clean again. The family has all left. My stomach finally feels close to normal. I actually feel a little like eating again.

Thanksgiving was a great hit this year. My kid was "on," the food was fantastic. My second attempt at deep-frying a turkey was a huge hit.

Of course, I fried it in peanut oil, heated to 365 (with about a 15 - 20 degree drop once the turkey hit it, and it only took a few minutes to get it back up to 350). The rub consisted of 1/4 cup of garlic powder, 1/4 cup of white pepper, 1 T of salt, 2 T of garlic salt, 2 T of sugar...simple, simple, simple.

But for the important part, the beer:

As an apertif, we had Sam Adams Boston Lager. Plain and simple, forward hops to tickle the tongue and a strong malt finish.

With the appetizers, we had Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. Big hit. It went incredibly well with the goat cheese and bakers chocolate-stuffed dates, the shrimp and spinach dip and especially the avocado and mango salsa (seasoned with cilantro and lime juice). The citrus hops and light-ropasted malt finish just cleaned-up, and the hops temselves cleansed the tonue so that each bite was like new. Perfect.

For dinner (deep-fried trukey, bread stuffing, meat stuffing, sauteed squash, sweet-potato/potato caserole, blanched and breaded green beans, carnberry sauce of all kinds and even some dishes that are a blur in the feeding frenzy), we drank Ommegang Hennepin and La Chouffe. Both of those Belgian-style Golden Ales went quite well with every dish. The 8% abv helped cut through the fats of each dish. The sweetness of the candi sugar and choice of malts for each beer blended perfectly with the residual sweetness in each dish (except the meat dressing, but the cloves in the dish fortunately made just enough of a match).

For dessert, besides for the standard pumpkin pie, we also had a pot-de-creme of very bitter, dark chocolate. We drank Rogue Chocolate Stout. The stout itself is amazing, but the chocolate flavor in it was completely overpowered by the strength of the chocolate in the pot-de-creme. Oh well. So we really couldn't taste the beer as much as we could have (or did with the pumpkin pie...that beer with pumpkin pie is like an especially beautiful marriage) otherwise. Next time, especially with such a potent dessert, I will try the Rogue Shakespeare stout. The bigger roasted malts and coffee-like flavors would probably stand out much better against such a rich chocolate.

As a digestif, as our stomachs rumbled and we drifted in and out of consciousness, we enjoyed Sierra Nevada Bigfoot barleywine-style ale. Big, robust, syrupy...quite like a port wine in every sense of consistency and taste. The perfect beer to put us into the post-dinner snooze.

All in all, the dinner and the beers were a huge hit, with the near-miss on the Chocolate stout. Can't always be perfect, but with the closeness of my family and the fun we all had, it really didn't matter.

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Beer Tasting, BJCP-Style

A good friend of mine, Mark, gave me an interesting beer from Lithuania and asked me to do an "official" beer tasting about it. The only way to be truly as objective as possible is to use the BJCP guidelines in order to rate the beer.

Following the guideline-style "adjudication" of the beer, I will add my own much more subjective editorial comments, full of snobbery to be sure.

Without further ado, my subject for tasting this evening, supplied by my good friend Mark, is Zhiguly Beer Grand, from Gubernija brewery in Siauliai, Lithuania.


The hard part here is that the BJCP Guidelines don't cover for what this style of beer is, which is a Euro Strong Lager. American Light Lager doesn't quite fit. Closest beer-wise would be a Bohemian Lager, in my opinion. Technically, this is European malt liquor...the Euro version of King Cobra or Colt 45. But given the region and brewing technique, I'd put this in the Bohemian Lager camp.

Presentation: Green glass 16.9 oz. bottle, boasting a 9.5% abv, poured into a British Imperial Pint glass. No freshness date apparent on the bottle. With 9.5% abv...who needs fresh?

Appearance: Pale gold, almost brilliantly clear. Yielded a 1" slightly off-white head; vaguely cream-colored. Shrank quickly to about 1/4" and dissipated from there. Very dense, but ultimately poor retention. 2/3

Aroma: The famous Saaz hop is present right up front; very typical Bohemian Pils smell right away. Earthy, somewhat cornhusk-scented; noticeably adjunct-heavy (I'd say corn). There is a lingering sweetness in the distant background. Mostly, however, what you get is huge alcohol. The alcohol pretty much burns away whatever else there was that is truly pleasant about a typical lager of this style. Way too much alcohol. 5/12

Flavor: Big earthy, spicy hop up front, as I'd expect from a beer of this general style. Definite cornhusk graininess, but that Bohemian "skunky-funk" like Pilsner Urquell (a wonderful commercial example...the gold-standard of Bohemian Lagers) is present. Then the alcohol hits. This is more of an alcohol warmth like you get in a solid stout or even an Imperial Pilsner or Double IPA. This is like a shot of vodka in a light beer. The hops and sweet malt backbone are completely overshadowed by a massive alcohol burn. 7/20.

Mouthfeel: Lighter-bodied than a true beer of this style, most likely from the use of adjuncts to lighten the beer and boost the alcohol content. Despite the big alcohol, it was not dry. Medium carbonation, appropriate to style. Leaves an unpleasant alcohol taste in the back of the throat with a strange, cloying sweetness. 3/5.

Overall Impression: This was tough, but no matter if I compared this to an American Light Lager, a German Pilsner or any other similar lighter lager, I'd get near this result. This is a European malt liquor for all intents and purposes, with a rushed fermentation. Alcohol of this proportion for a lighter beer than a porter or stout is better suited for the crazy American Double- and Triple-IPAs, or the newer Imperial Pilsner style (which Sam Adams does quite well). This beer deviates from American Light Lager and Standard Lager, especially in even with those, this beer is so unbalanced by the alcohol with absolutely nothing to compete with it. The "by-the-book" flavors of a Bohemian Pilsner were there, they were just utterly decimated by the alcohol and adjunct tastes. 4/10.

Total Score: 21/50. Drinkable, but there are serious flaws.

This beer is fine if you are out to get sloshed. There's not enough to taste here to make this a beer you sit and drink and enjoy. Like malt liquor, this beer's goal is to get people drunk. I sincerely hope that the procurer of this beer for me didn't pay more than $1.50, because this is imported as a .99 cent beer. And that's about says it.

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And Speaking of Turkey Neck...

Cop humor strikes me as extremely similar to military humor; it's all about the well-placed and well-timed joke, usually of an insulting, disgusting or demoralizing nature. With professions like that, you just have to laugh at the things you're given, or you go nuts. Out of necessity, death, drugs, guns...all become part of what needs to be funny.

Take a look at the attached video clip. Did that cop really just happen to be leaving the house at that very moment? Or did he wait for the camera to go up on the shoulder and the reporter to start blabbing? Was there a fight inside that house about who got to walk out with the...implement on camera? Why was it put in the box (no pun intended) the way it was, instead of flat?

Cop humor. Love it.

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Your Turkey Wants a Beer

As I begin, let me suggest that you readThe Brewmaster's Table by Garrett Oliver. The whole book is about tasting beer and pairing different beers with different foods. Excellent for so many reasons.

I bring this up because a common question around Thanksgiving, especially for people who are invited guests to such a dinner, is "what wine goes best with Turkey?"

The right answer is beer!

Beer was absolutely the staple beverage of the Pilgrims, being the most ship-worthy beverage in terms of being able to be produced in a large enough quantity to be the beverage of choice for the 4 - 6 month voyage. It has also been dicovered in reading the ship logs of the Mayflower that they put ashore in Plymouth (which was not their target destination) because beer supplies ran low.

When the Pilgrims landed and began to settle, a brewery was one of the first buildings to be erected. The reason: they were suspicious of water -- which was often tainted back in Europe -- and wine and spirits in the Mayflower's era were medical provisions and not for the table. Beer was a way, because of the alcohol content, to purify water to make it drinkable. This form of water purification goes even farther back.

So did the "first settlers" drink wine at the "first Thanksgiving?" Hell no! They drank beer!

We benefit now from such a massive variety of specialty craft beers to choose from that we can pair different courses with different beers. Following are my own recommendations for beer-food pairings. If you're looking for something to pair with the Bird other than a boring Chardonnay, consider some of these.

Apertif
Nothing huge here; we don't want massive alcohol contents, huge hops or tons of roasted barley to kill the tongue so that we can't enjoy our dinner. For this course, as guests arrive, consider a nice light Pilsner or Lager; something lightly grainy and vaguely hoppy to give the tongue a little tease. Consider:

Warsteiner Premium Verum

Sam Adams Boston Lager

Brooklyn Brewery Lager

Weihenstephaner Original Lager

Hors d'Oeuvre Hour
Turn on the hops a little more for this course, as you will have probably several different appetizers of varying taste, oiliness, fattiness and complexity (even if it's just chips-n-dip and salsa!). The hoppy character in Pale Ales will go really well greens, cheeses, fruits and the like without overwhelming what you're eating (you never want your drink to be the star over your food). Try:

Sierra Nevada

Pale Ale

Anchor Liberty Ale

Great Lakes Burning River Pale Ale

Bass Pale Ale

Dinner
And now for the bird. And the stuffing. And the potatoes. And... Now's the time to hit a strong-tasting ale with some residual sweetness to compliment the latent sweetness of the bird and the feast. Also, you want a boosted alcohol content, because the higher alcohol concentration will help cut through fats and starches to help you taste the beer and will cleanse the palate between bites. Try some Belgian-style beers here:

La Fin Du Monde

Delirium Tremens

Michigan Brewing Company Celis Grand Cru

Ommegang Hennepin or Rare Vos
You could also look at more lagers (not American Light Lager...no spiciness or taste), since the higher carbonation and hoppiness in lagers cleanses the palate between bites and the spicey hops compliment the dishes well. For instance, try Pilsner Urquell, which features the wonderfully-spicey Saaz hop. Peppery.

Dessert
The best course, in my opinion, for beer pairings is dessert. This is mainly because I am a massive fan of Stouts and Porters. Think big, huge and rich:

Founders Breakfast Stout

Great Divide Yeti or Oak Aged Yeti

Rogue Chocolate Stout or Shakespeare Stout

Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout

Digestif
This is the kick-back, sip and relax drink, where belts and pants-buttons are undone and you watch your favorite football team lose terribly as you nod-off to a restful triptophan-induced slumber. Think smooth and numbing:

Dogfish Head Raison d'Extra

Sierra Nevada Bigfoot Barleywine

Rogue Old Crustacean

J.W. Lee's Harvest Ale (look for a vontage older than 1 year, so '04 or older)

Again, this is by no means definitive, but hey, if you've never done this or are looking for something more interesting than the $9 sale wine at the local grocery, give this a shot.

And be thankful to the Pilgrims for establishing a fine tradition of drinking beer with your feast!

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The Unwanted Vacation

Posting is light today. Wife and kid are both sick with the barfs and the watery poops, so all I am doing is comforting sick people and cleaning up my son's barf and sodden diapers.

Back next week with beer reviews, a Thanksgiving turkey recipe that involves beer, and bad political discourse.

Wish me luck.

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Fridays Are For Beer

Yet another lovely Friday in late Fall in Michigan can only mean it's time for today's Friday beer selection.

To mix things up a little today, I thought I'd do an Overrated/Underrated beer selection. Which beer doesn't stand up to the hype? Which is the best beer you're not drinking?

The most overrated beer may surprise you. It surprised me, for certain, as I lined-up beers and tried to figure which one, while still good (it is beer, afterall), just doesn't live up to the image it has portrayed.

This beer is a solid beer with a long history; over 300 years of history to be exact. It is drinkable, and is generally considered a "session" beer, meaning you can sit down and quaff one after another all night.

Don't get me wrong: this beer is a fine beer, but the image attached to it by millions in advertising dollars just doesn't hold up. It is the beer of choice for drinking establishments across the country (the world for that matter) who want to appeal to a more "sophisticated" drinker because this is marketed in a more sophisticated manner (even though it has a goofy ad campaign, it is based on a self-depricating humor meant to appeal to a "smarter" drinker, not a "farts-are-funnier" kind of drinker....farts are funny and always will be, by the way).

It also comes with a very cultural, simple feel but was honestly, from its very conception, absolutely meant to dominate an entire country's drinking habits.

For all that makes it (especially in the version available in the States) vaguely watered-down and lacking complexity among its closest competitors, it is still a drinkable beer that I enjoy in amazing amounts every week. It just doesn't live up to its "sophisticated" image nor its "uniquely homey" image and has honestly joined the world of the Macro-brews, which it was always meant to.

Most Overrated beer: Guinness.

Sorry.

The most underrated beer is one that ought to be proclaimed from the mountaintops, but is strangely hard to find despite how prolificly it is brewed.

This beer is from a brewery in Michigan that continually gets overlooked, but regularly has huge hits. It falls victim to the prolificness of Dragonmead, the challenge of Founders and the distribution power of Bells.

This beer is hugely complex. Pure dark roasted barley, big roasted flavor, backed up by a Chardonnay-oak flavor. Sticky-sweet vanilla with a hint of bourbon. Pure black, thick lacing. Imagine a vanilla latte.

Fine by lots of standards. The brewery itself projects no image at all, but stands by its truly impressive beers. The beers define who they are, not overmarketing. They are tragically underrepresented even in Michigan's beer market.

The best beer you're not drinking, but you damn-well better start:

New Holland's Dragon's Milk.

Of course, Blogger is not accepting images right now, but bear with me.

Buy this beer. Support this brewery. These guys need to know how outstanding their beers are. The microbrew market is a tough market, and guys with real winners need all the support and love they can get.
Check them out here.

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There is a Song for This...

What's the name of that song? The one where you would use it to wish someone goodbye? I think you can hear it from the Whitehouse lawn...

So Bush says it's a decision they came to as they continually reassess Iraq. Mm Hm. Sure it is, Mr. President. And that they discussed this over the weekend but decided to wait until today to announce it so it didn't interfere with elections.

No...I see they did it because of the elections.

Some good news, at least.

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