Guinness Is A Uniter, Not A Divider!

Monday, July 25, 2005


Have you ever noticed that beer does not engage in negative campaigning?

Have you ever seen a beer commercial bash another?

The answer used to be "no" until Bud Light (swill...see my first post) and Miller Light (swill...see my first post) engaged in a mock political campaign, pitting the Bud horse, who never spoke, against a charismatic well-dressed spokesman holding a Miller. Bud responded with its own series of ads that bashed Miller.

Oh dark days! A sad day when beer, the beloved beverage, lowered itself to the depths of politicians and political parties. Miller and Bud, two bastions of American beer, played on our base instincts in a misguided attempt at humor.

Oh, I am guilty. I laughed. For shame! I felt guilty for laughing...until suddenly I recognized that a point I made earlier was made. Remember my contention: that light beer is swill, enjoyed by people who are noncommittal and who are afraid to face the consequences of their actions. But why? They are driven to that by mediocrity.

What do I mean? Take my example of voting. Two parties in out political system, each of whom hand us a candidate either actually too liberal or too conservative for our own taste. Each of whom hand us a candidate who, by educated programming, changes their platform to suit what polls say are the hot-button issues. We are handed, then, candidates as noncommittal about what they actually believe in as trying to enjoy beer without suffering the caloric consequences!

And so here we have Miller Lite and Bud Lite, who inundate us with constant ads until it seems our only choice, like in a Presidential race, is between two candidates we should reject, but end up tolerating as safe.

Challenge the paradigm! Drink beer that is not advertised. You'll find, as a whole, it is better. Best of all, drink beer that unites! In Ireland, everyone can agree on Guinness. Guinness unites a country. It doesn't force the country into contrived conflict like Miller and Bud. In Germany, there is a multitude of beer, and it's all good. It doesn't matter what you pick, because it is all wonderful! Nobody has to fight for market share, because they all offer something for every individual. Nobody has to tolerate mediocrity. In France, they don't even DO beer because they have a product that they've perfected; a product that has created one unifying national identity.

Don't fall into our mediocre trap! Demand quality! Demand unity!


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