Beer of the Week/Cheer of the Week

Tomorrow, Michigan State plays Northwestern for homecoming. I will, as any true and loyal Sparty, be tailgating as early as possible. The only real way to enjoy Spartan Football is to be plowed like a Northern Michigan street in February.

Given that it's football season, what better thing to do than review a few tailgating classics.

It's 6:45 a.m. There's a crisp breeze, and since the sun isn't up yet, it's about 35 degrees. The oil in the turkey deep-fryer is heating up. There's a flask of Jameson in your back pocket. Time to crack that first beer. What'll it be?

This week's tailgate has Busch Beer, a far cry from what Adolphus Busch brewed back in the Old World before trying his craft here. Whip out the folding chair, put your feet up on your cooler and BUUUUUUUSSSSSSCCCCHHHHHH.....

I bring the can to my nose. I smell no hops, definitely malt and even an adjunct...rice maybe? And oh, I can smell the alcohol. My stomach churns, given that Arthur Guinness and I had a ton of craic doing some pre-tailgate celebrations that ended just 4 hours and 45 minutes ago. Hmm. But my liver screams to me that I'm a wimp for quittin' so early, so down the hatch! Busch is very watery, and highly-carbonated, almost to the point where the extreme amount of carbonation and alcohol burn the back of the throat. This has the typical "macrobrew" taste to it, meaning no evident hops, a slightly skunky malt and a generally bland, generic feel to it. I imagine this is to beer what the "tea" on board the Heart of Gold was to Arthur Dent. The normal characters that barley and hops are absent in what is truly carbonated water with alcohol added.

That was the real review. The tailgate review?

It's 6:45. It's 35 degrees. I just stopped drinking a few hours ago; long enough to have one of those still-awake-hangovers. I feel woozy. I want to puke. I slam my first. Thank God it has no taste, because taste is the last thing I need. Awesome. I chug the second, and half way through, my buddy wants to see me shotgun a beer. That never gets old for him, so I'm happy to oblige. I punch a hole in the bottom, crack the top and down it goes. It's now 6:50. I nip the Jameson in the flask in my back pocket, and chase it with another can of Busch. The carbonation burns, but produces some GREAT belches. I no longer want to puke. My lips are a little numb...is it from the beer, or just because it's cold? Friends show up. We deep-fry turkey. We eat. I am 12 cans into the morning, so pretty much everything is funny. Michigan State is a wet campus, so I can carry beers with me to the stadium. Good thing, because to remain buzzed enough to last the frist half so I can yell at the refs and enjoy the Spartans, I'll need 4 more.

The point is, while not a great beer at all, it is a beer centered around comaraderie, football and grilled food. This beer is great because it is meant for getting a buzz with your friends. No more, no less. Enjoy Busch.

And for the Cheer of the Week: Go State! 2 losses in a row, bad coaching and the worst kicker I believe in college history. I raise my 15th Busch in the air before stumbling into the stadium and proclaim Go SpState! Beathose fuggers! Hicc! Urrrrp.....ohshit....