The War On Christmas!

Monday, December 13, 2010

It's on, people. The War On Christmas is officially here.

Our friendly, loving, and accepting neighbors over at the American Family Association (the same folks who believe that there should be legal sanctions against homosexual behavior) have provided us with a list of companies who are either strictly against Christmas, completely for Christmas, or all Switzerland-y in regards to Christmas.

For the sake of keeping you lazy bastards from clicking too many links, the list of Anti-Christmas Agressors includes:
--Banana Republic (NEW!)
--Barnes & Noble
--CVS Pharmacy
--Foot Locker
--Gap Stores (NEW!)
--Hancock Fabrics
--NASCAR
--L.L. Bean (NEW!)
--Office Depot
--Radio Shack
--Staples
--SUPERVALU
--Victoria's Secret

Some of these I can see. Banana Republic is an affront to common-sense fashion if ever there was, and Barnes & Noble encourages us to read books other than The Bible. But Victoria's Secret?? The gifts purchased there certainly encourage straight, monogamous, traditional scrumping. What gives?? And NASCAR? What am I supposed to watch on tv??

But at least we have Best Buy and Wal Mart there right by our side in defense of Christmas. I feel encouraged that if I can't get high-quality-but-certainly-atheist Victoria Secrets lingerie to spur my Christmas Eve monkey sex fest, I can get a less expensive knock-off from Wal Mart and have enough money to maybe buy a cheap video camera from Best Buy. And then, I can create more troops to fight this War On Christmas.

8 comments:

Bob 5:06 PM  

Maybe these companies want to sell shit to Jews during the fucking holidays?

Sam,  5:38 PM  

More Lions

Pete,  9:18 PM  

A quick search on VS' site for "christmas" shows more than enough support as far as I'm concerned.

Smitty 10:01 PM  

Sam: Now here's the correct and welcome usage of "more Lions." More lions indeed.

Bob: I guess, to the AFA, Capitalism is the best system ever under God. But only for Christians at Christmas. Everyone else can go be soshulist.

Pete: I did the search too. If my Christmas looked like that, I'd keep my...umm..."tree up" all year. If you know what I mean...

steves 9:54 AM  

A non-issue if there ever was one. While I agree that many people ignore/water down the true meaning of Christmas, I think it is pretty silly to rely on retailers to bolster the holiday.

Monk-in-Training 6:29 PM  

I have so many thoughts on this topic, but I will attempt to be brief.

sermonizing mode on

The AFA has lost the meaning of Christmas, mixing it up with the Empire of our day - wealth and power go hand in hand, and words and symbols are all they want to "sugar coat" an anti-Christian period of overindulgence, greed, and commercialism referred to as Christmas by a capitalistic society that refuses to honor the traditions of the Child born to an undocumented, unmarried, transient 13(ish)-year old girl who gave birth in someone's barn because no one would welcome her into their home.

The Christian season in which we find ourselves at this time of year is Advent, not Christmas. The Christian season of Christmas begins at sundown Christmas Eve and continues until sunrise on Epiphany (hence the 12 days of Christmas).

If Christians such as the AFA really wanted to "put Christ back into Christmas", they would remember that this is supposed to be a time of reflection and expectant hope as we look hard into ourselves and attempt to serve those around us, and in that way we are serving the coming Christ of Christmas.

sermonizing mode off

Lord have mercy, Smitty, you make me work up a sweat!

Bob 8:27 AM  

"...an anti-Christian period of overindulgence, greed, and commercialism referred to as Christmas by a capitalistic society that refuses to honor the traditions of the Child born to an undocumented, unmarried, transient 13(ish)-year old girl who gave birth in someone's barn because no one would welcome her into their home."

Brilliant!

Sara,  12:57 PM  

I love this, and gearing to to make Christmas cards that are edgy like this! Love it, and I am inspired!!!
I hate Christmas, and I am a Christian. It's stupid let's bring back Saternaila
Who is the artist? I would love to see more stuff.

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