There Goes The Neighborhood

Well, great.

According Marie Exley, the world will apparently begin to end on May 21, 2011. On that day, true believers will be enraptured.

If there had been time, Marie Exley would have liked to start a family. Instead, the 32-year-old Army veteran has less than six months left, which she'll spend spreading a stark warning: Judgment Day is almost here.

Exley is part of a movement of Christians loosely organized by radio broadcasts and websites, independent of churches and convinced by their reading of the Bible that the end of the world will begin on May 21, 2011.

I love the sanctimonious part of the article:

"A lot of people might think, 'The end's coming, let's go party,'" said Exley, a veteran of two deployments in Iraq. "But we're commanded by God to warn people. I wish I could just be like everybody else, but it's so much better to know that when the end comes, you'll be safe."

This all comes from Cult Leader minister Harold Camping. He has thus far convinced people to stop working and join RV caravans to drive around the country telling people just how screwed we are and they aren't, unless they believe Camping's prediction.

Camping, 89, believes the Bible essentially functions as a cosmic calendar explaining exactly when various prophecies will be fulfilled.

The retired civil engineer said all his calculations come from close readings of the Bible, but that external events like the foundation of the state of Israel in 1948 are signs confirming the date.

"Beyond the shadow of a doubt, May 21 will be the date of the Rapture and the day of judgment," he said.

The doctrine known as the Rapture teaches that believers will be taken up to heaven, while everyone else will remain on earth for a period of torment, concluding with the end of time. Camping believes that will happen in October.

"If May 21 passes and I'm still here, that means I wasn't saved. Does that mean God's word is inaccurate or untrue? Not at all," Warden said.

I love that last paragraph above. Just because it looks like I'm wrong, I'm not wrong. I'm right.

For me, it'll mean Smitty Jr has a really really shitty 6th birthday 22 days later, which is total bullshit. It also means that I will certainly lose the deposit on whatever venue we choose for Smitty Jr's 6th, which is also bullshit.

But I do have hope. Rare ATK Contributor Joel got me this book for Christmas, so at least I can survive the apocalypse. I assume Joel will too, who will certainly demand I lend him back the book he gifted me. So the blog will live on, even if it's not in cyberspace. So we have that going for us. And that's nice. I wonder if Jesus reads this blog...