Around the Keg

A Bookface "friend" posted Wayne Allyn Root's wildly hysterical and generally insane ramble entitled Rules for Radicals: Obama's New Plan to Destroy America. Being in a silly mood, I followed the link.

I returned to Facebook, and stated simply that his link was "possibly the most vapid, under-researched, unfathomably misinformed and purposefully misdirectional piece of drooling slander I have ever wasted my time with, period. This article pretends to debate policy when all it really does it evoke Beck-esque conspiracy theorizing, which is especially hilarious when, on his own website, Root says "I am not a fan of conspiracy theories. I actually think that wild conspiracy theories detract and discredit any serious attempt to ask legitimate questions about the background of our President.""

I notice that I have been unfriended. This was probably for the best.

One of my favorite gems:

Why would Obama launch this all-out assault on capitalism, you ask? The answer is simple. He's an ideologue who hates America and believes the capitalistic system is destructive and exploitive (as do most of my Columbia classmates). Like Mao and Lenin, Obama sees himself as the "people's savior."

That's pretty standard fare for, um, some ideologues who aren't fans of the President. But it's nothing new; hates America, blah blah, Stalin, blah blah, commie. Yawn.

The piece really hits its stride here:

Obama's new plan is brilliant. Act like you've learned a lesson. Compromise. Move to the center. Talk like a moderate conservative. Support tax cuts. Become a friend to business. Act supportive of repealing parts of your own Obamacare plan. Make nice to the Chamber of Commerce. Appoint business leaders to your management team. Talk about tort reform. Talk about the dangers of debt. Become "the jobs" President. Allow Bill O'Reilly to interview you and claim your new goal is to get spending under control. Spend your entire State of the Union praising America. You are now a patriot bleeding red, white and blue.

This, in and of itself, is brilliant in its deviousness. And by brilliant, I mean massively, blazingly dim. And by deviousness, I mean purposeful misdirection.

Let's break it down:

Root just took everything that the President has done in the past month and a half, and listed it out as if it's a by-the-book "this is how you create plans to destroy countries" step by step process. Step 1, capitulate. Step 2, change your speech. Step 3, etc etc etc. No, Wayne. All you did was list 6 weeks worth of activity. It's how he writes that passage that makes it so bad. That everything the President has done is premeditated all the way back to Mao, as if Mao wrote somewhere that if you do these things, in this order, BAM! Despot 1; Nation 0.

That, folks, is fucking funny.

Ah, but we get some more fun:

Why would he commit this act of fraud and deception? One over-riding goal: Get re-elected in 2012.

Wait, you mean getting re-elected is Obama's over-riding goal?? Noooooooo!!!! Wait. WAIT!! That was Bush's goal too?? And Clinton's??? AND VAN BUREN'S????

But why? WHY would Obama want to get re-elected?

Why is getting re-elected so important? Because then Obama has nothing standing in his way of completing the job he set out to do -- DESTROY AMERICA.

Wait. What's...standing in his way...now? Does he need 4 years? Because if you ask Red State or O'Reilly, he's kinda already done it. So...what gives?

Two more years of patience and the keys to the kingdom...and the economy...and the Fed...and the United States Military...and the nuclear arsenal...all belong to Obama.

Wait. Wait. Doesn't...doesn't he have the keys to all that stuff right now? And who might he nuke? Us?

Idiot feed for the idiots. Typical shock-jock radio nonsense geared towards the people who would actually believe it.

Read more...