Hop-cademy Awards

Monday, March 06, 2006

First-off, congrats to John Stewart last night for what I personally thought to be a slew of wonderful, subtle jokes. He kept to his Daily Show brand of humor, and dammit all if most of the Hollywood mouth-breathers didn't get it. The Neanderthals at CNN's "Morning Coffee" this morning had nothing good to say about Stewart's success, but that's because they either didn't get the jokes, or don't think they're funny. I'm guessing a little of both.

Also, hat's off to Mr. Skin.com for his 7th annual Anatomy Awards. This guy has way too much time on his hands, but it's a worthy cause.

So, like every other moron with a blog and a keyboard everywhere, Around the Keg will do its own version of the Academy Awards. Seeing as how I can't afford a theater, commercials, a host or even an accounting company to count and verify the ballots, we'll just have to live for now on free electrons provided by Blogger. So....thanks to my sponsor, Blogger! Maybe someday...

Best Stout
Ah, the glories of big, thick beers; black as night and complex in flavor. This is not one of the broad BJCP categories, but stouts are my favorite, so they get their own category. My competition, my rules. And the nominees are: Duck-Rabbit Milk Stout, Founders Breakfast Stout, Bell's Expedition Stout and Great Lakes Brewing Co Blackout Stout. And the winner is....Founder's Breakfast Stout!!!

Best American Ale
The nominees are: DogFish Head 120 Minute IPA, Founders Devil Dancer, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and Bell's Amber Ale. And the winner is....DogFish Head 120 Minute IPA!!!

Best Belgian/French (yeah...I said it...FRENCH...) Ale
The nominees are: Orval Trappist Ale, Unibroue La Fin du Monde, Westmalle Trappist Dubbel and Brewery Ommegang Hennepin. And the winner is.....Brewery Ommegang Hennepin!!!

Best English Ale
The nominees are: Fuller's Extra Special Bitter, Thomas Paine Brown Ale, Samuel Smith's India Ale and Young's Double Chocolate Stout. And the winner is...Thomas Paine Brown Ale!!!

Best German Ale
The nominees are: Dragonmead Dragonslayer Altbier, Weihenstaphaner Hefeweissbier Dunkel, Sierra Nevada Wheat Beer and Hacker-Pschorr Weissbier. And the winner is....Weihenstaphaner Hefeweissbier Dunkel!!!

Best Scottish Ale
The nominees are: Dragonmead Under the Kilt Wee Heavy, Founders Dirty Bastard, Belhaven Scottish Ale and Skullsplitter. And the winner is.....Dragonmead Under the Kilt Wee Heavy!!!

Best American Lager
The nominees are: Brooklyn Brewery Brooklyn Lager, Yuengling Traditional Lager, Anchor Steam Beer and Budweiser. And the winner is....Anchor Steam Beer!!!

Best Czech/German Lager
The nominees are: Pilsner Urquell, Ayinger Celebrator Doppelbock, Rogue Dead Guy Ale, Sam Adams Boston Lager and Paulaner Oktoberfestbier. And the winner is....Ayinger Celebrator Dopplebock!!!

Best American Brewery
The nominees are: Stone Brewing Company, California; Founders Brewing Company, Michigan; DogFish Head Craft Brewery, Delaware; and Boston Beer Company, Massachusetts. And the winner is....DogFish Head Craft Brewery!!!

Best Beer Overall
The nominees are: Dragonmead Final Absolution Trippel, Founders Kentucky Breakfast Stout, Saison Dupont, Stone Brewing Company Russian Imperial Stout. And the winner is........

Founders Kentucky Breakfast Stout!!!

There was stiff competition this year in all of the categories, and the nominees were selected from all of the beers I love, using a nonscientific method. Congrats to the winners, who will never hear that they won!


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