Year-End Housecleaning: Dickheads of the Year

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

As 2007 comes to a close, thank God, we need to do a little housecleaning. Just some minor tasks to get some stuff off our collective chests and get ready for 2008.

Usually, this is handled by a VH-1 special about Best Year Ever and other such "Best Of" shows, or Comedy Central's year-end roast of some sort. But compliments of Mrs. Smitty, I have stumbled across Dickheads of the Year by Bill Maher. They are listed in no particular order (though one could make the argument that it is ordered from "plain old dickhead" to "massive universe-collapsing dickhead"), as it starts with Michael Vick, who, while a total loser dickhead, does not reach the mighty dickheadity of the other dickheads on this list.

Take a gander. Add your own ideas and submissions to the comments section.


Smitty 4:37 PM  

Gotta say that I firmly believe that Maher was right to add "Congressional Democrats" to the list of dickheads. Spineless sellouts who are not doing anything that actually got them into office in the first place. It leads me to think they're either that afraid of losing, or they are complicit in this mess.

Erik Prince totally belonged on the list as well. We need ot be afraid of this guy and the support he gets from the Administration.

I certainly have some Michigan-based politicos who I'd gladly add to the list, but they might not mean as much to some of our readers.

B Mac 9:46 AM  

Like Smitty, I have a few local dickheads in mind. However, they have only been dickheads to the people of ONE state, so I'll give extra bonus points to the nation-wide dickheads.

My first nominations: Bill O'Reilly, Lou Dobbs, and now Tony Snow (

This is a small (but representative) sample from the group of people who bemoan the "War on _______" (Insert some popular establishment or cultural institution here).

We get it, Lou... immigrants are destroying America. They are taking lettuce-harvesting jobs from the middle class. And we prosecuted a couple of border patrol agents for shooting two people in the back. Shooting Brown People is still a crime, you xenophobic prick.

And don't get me started on the War on Christmas (and, by extension, the War on God). If this IS a war, my money's on Christmas. Did you know that last year, despite the absence of Baby Jesus in the town nativity scene in Hoboken, NJ, people still remembered that it was Christmas? Really, they did. They gave presents and everything.

I keep waiting for O'Reilly to have his Grinch-on-the-top-of-Mount-Crumpit moment...

Rickey Henderson 9:49 AM  

nice. Good to see Mahr keeping busy... Rickey misses him

B Mac 9:54 AM  

Oh, and I'll see your "Congressional Democrats", and raise you a "90% of all elected officials, state and federal".

I usually hate it when people use the "all politicians are crooks and liars" line. Because there are some honest, hard working, and well-meaning individuals in elected office (my boss included). But this year, it seems that almost everyone went Cowardly Lion. No one wanted to make any hard decisions. And it frustrates the living hell out of me.

Mr Furious 10:32 AM  

Great list. And I'm with you guys on the spineless Dems. I'm actually eagerly awaiting the fund-raising calls these days, so I can tell why they don;t get any more money from me.

George 12:47 PM  

Best line: "At the Bush White House, a constitutional crisis is when somebody actually reads the Constitution."

The follow-up, of course, is in Congress, it's a miracle of someone defends the Constitution. Go Chris Dodd. I don't want him to be president, but I'm sure glad he's in the senate.

Bob "Chief Beer Advocate" 4:03 PM  

I nominate for Dickheads of the year :
The Environmentalist!
(and Nancy Pelosi along with them.)

Instead of working to pass legislation to actually help the environment, they instead went after the automobile industry, maker of machines that produce a whole 1.5% of the world’s CO2.

Instead of trying to pass changes in policy or law that would enact meaningful changes industry-wide and globally to reduce greenhouse gases, yesterday they blew their wad on increasing the Corp. Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) to enact some sort of freakish revenge on an object - the Hummer.

The whole problem with the CAFE law is that it forces the manufacturers to produce and SELL a substantial number of cars that aren't very popular or profitable. This forces them to sell at a loss to make up for the cars they actually sell at a profit. Of course, the profitable cars burn more gas.

Since CAFE is sales-weighted, they have to take a loss to get people to buy them. Case in point: the Toyota Prius, GM’s EV1 and likely the upcoming GM Volt are all currently or will be sold at a loss. (Yes, Toyota denies this, but few auto analysts believe them.) If GM sold the EV1 (when it was still being made through force of CA law) it would have had an $80,000 price tag. There is a similar, yet smaller effect on small, conventional cars.

The fact is everyone wants eco-friendly dream machines, but no one really wants to pay for them. They either want the manufacturers to subsidize them in order to comply with CAFE or they want the government to subsidize them through tax credits.

If the Enviros would quit pushing bills that give them strange sexual satisfaction maybe we could get around to actually solving the problem of global warming.

-end diatribe.

steves 6:01 PM  

Most years I would place Bill Maher on the list of dickheads. The right is often blasted for being "mean spirited", but when he jokes that things would be better if Cheney were dead, he is just being edgy. He is also a board member of PETA, who are total nutjobs IMO. He says he is a libertarian, but supports gun control. That is like a porn star that supports celibacy.

That being said, I still occasionally like Maher. His interview with Ron Paul was fantastic. I agree with some of his list, though I don't think Larry Craig was that big of a dickhead. Most of the rational (as opposed to foaming at the mouth) liberal bloggers didn't even get all that riled up about him.

Gonzo certainly deserves mention, but Mukasey hasn't been there long enough. I wasn't sure what Maher was specifically bitching about, but the executive branch can ignore congress on some issues. It is based on separation of powers and it certainly not a new concept. I am pretty sure there is some schoolhouse rock episode somewhere that talks about it.

Vick, Guiliani, Bush...can't disagree with their inclusion.

Bob "Chief Beer Advocate" 11:06 PM  

"Most years I would place Bill Maher on the list of dickheads."

I think I would agree, but at the same time, I think we need more dickheads in the media.

Not Republican dickheads, or Democratic dickheads, but those who are skeptical of everyone, a friend of no one and not taking one partisan position or the other. Being a good journalist means not just hearing “both sides” but figuring our which one, or if both, are lying.

I don’t know if Mahar is a good journalist in the traditional sense, but at least he’s not a pushover. If he is pissing everyone off, he's probable doing a good job.

steves 8:39 AM  

Maher can be very funny, which is why I will cut him some slack. I think we have a surplus of loud-mouthed pundits that just bitch about stuff and offer very little in the way of intelligent commentary (O'Reilly, Hannity, Olbermann, etc.). I find that I get bored even if I agree with them. I think most people (outside of this blog) are just lazy and want to be told what to think.

B Mac 9:25 AM  

I agree with Steve. That's why I miss Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert. It was an amusing way of pointing out the dumb-ass-ness in the world. Besides, is there a better way to sum up the presidential campaign than "Clusterf*ck to the White House"???

Bob "Chief Beer Advocate" 9:28 AM  

I think it's time for the Michigan Dickheads of the Year:

I will start the nominations with Leon Drolet.

Leon is an anti-government zealot except when government employs him, which has pretty much been all his life. The former state Representative, and current County Commissioner, hypocritical dickhead wants to recall legislators who voted their conscience instead of letting the state go bankrupt.

Message to Leon:
The State Treasurer would be glad to receive a refund of the salary you were paid as State Representative. Can I assume that a check for $474,000+ for salary and $72,000 in expenses will be forthcoming?

In case you can’t find the address:

Michigan Department of Treasury
Attn: Robert J. Kleine, Treasurer
430 W. Allegan Street
Lansing, MI 48922

If you put “return of state salary and expenses” in the memo line, I am sure Mr. Kleine will take care of it for you.

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