Joel's Dialogue of the Day

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Sometimes you've got to ask yourself... are we all just playing the part of a peasant in a Monty Python movie? I mean, it FEELS like we're being lead toward the answer with intelligence, but then, in retrospect you wonder "how the hell did we ever go along with THAT?!"
Man... it made sense at the time...

Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!

5 comments:

B Mac,  1:54 PM  

Excellent movie, excellent dialogue. I often feel that same way, as many people probably do. After all, who hasn't been watching infomercials half-drunk at 3 in the morning, and said to himself "damn, he's right... that combination blender/quesadilla maker WOULD make my life more fulfilling!" I could also draw some comparisons to certain presidential administrations, but I will leave that to someone else...

As a government nerd, I always enjoyed the political ramblings of the peasants in Holy Grail:

King Arthur: I am your king.

Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.

King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.

Woman: Well how'd you become king then?

King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.

Dennis: Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Bob 3:29 PM  

b mac - that's funny stuff. I guess I too am a government nerd.

Mike 5:48 AM  

Yeah, I enjoyed that too. Lots of witches around these days, it seems.

Otto Man 12:00 PM  

Are you all familiar with the blogger named Dennis the Peasant? He's a disaffected somewhat sane conservative -- think John Cole -- with a sharp sense of sarcasm. His flamethrower approach to Pajama Media is worth the visit.

Smitty 9:34 AM  

Thanks for the tip, OM. I think I may even add his voice to my blogroll...

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