50 Most Loathsome...

Monday, January 12, 2009

This has been blogwhored so much all over the net, their server is crashing, but I thought it was amusing enough to post anyway.

I have never heard of it before, but The Beast has compiled a list of the 50 Most Loathsome Americans for 2008. There is someone you love and someone you hate somewhere on the list.

I thought one of the best entries on the list was this one:

43. You

Charges: You think it’s your patriotic duty to spend money you don’t have on crap you don’t need. You think Hillary lost because of sexism, when it’s actually because she’s just a bad liar. You think Iraq is better off now than before we invaded, and don’t understand why they’re so ungrateful. You think Tim Russert was a great journalist. You’re hopping mad about an auto industry bailout that cost a squirt of piss compared to a Wall Street heist of galactic dimensions, due to a housing crash you somehow have blamed on minorities. It took you six years to figure out what a tool Bush is, but you think Obama will make it all better. You deem it hunky dory that we conduct national policy debates via 8-second clips from “The View.” You think God zapped humans into existence a few thousand years ago, although your appendix and wisdom teeth disagree. You like watching vicious assholes insult each other on TV. You support gun rights, because firing one gives you a chubby. You cuddle falsehoods and resent enlightenment. You think the fact that 43% of whites could stomach voting for an incredibly charismatic and eloquent light-skinned black guy who was raised by white people means racism is over. You think progressive taxation is socialism. 1 in 100 of you are in jail, and you think it should be more. You are shallow, inconsiderate, afraid, brand-conscious, sedentary, and totally self-obsessed. You are American.

Exhibit A: You’re more upset by Miley Cyrus’s glamour shots than the fact that you are a grown adult who is upset about Miley Cyrus.

11 comments:

Bob 5:17 PM  

I now see that Steves posted over at Mr. Furious about The Beast" not thinging too highly of my blogwhoring.

http://misterfurious.blogspot.com/2009/01/worth-wait.html

Oh well. I still felt the Average American post, #43 was a pretty good description of a lot of us.

steves 5:48 PM  

Uggh, this post followed me back to our blog. There were some good moments, but I am just a little tired of year end lists. To be fair, I doubt the list was meant for someone of my political persuasion.

steves 5:49 PM  

BTW, I finally finished a book review I started a while back and forgot about.

Bob 8:10 AM  

"To be fair, I doubt the list was meant for someone of my political persuasion."

I kinda felt it was meant to piss everyone off.

Rickey Henderson 8:14 AM  

Good stuff--bitter and insightful. Between you and Furious, this was actually the first time Rickey had seen or heard of this...

Bob 8:27 AM  

"this was actually the first time Rickey had seen or heard of this..."

I am guessing it may be the last time too.

Bob 9:53 AM  

"BTW, I finally finished a book review I started a while back and forgot about."

You may want to repost that with a new date stamp. It needs to be bought up to the top.

George 1:19 PM  

The Beast lists are always very funny, but at some point they make me wonder, What do these folks like or respect? Could anyone withstand their withering cynicism?

And if the answer is no, where does that leave us?

Rickey Henderson 1:27 PM  

I am guessing it may be the last time too.

Rickey actually dug it. They genuinely don't like anything, do they? That in itself is kid of funny to Rickey...

Mr Furious 8:27 AM  

Yeah, one of my delicate flower readers got his petals ruffled because they opened with a shot at Obama...

Last year's was even funnier.

Mr Furious 8:32 AM  

Er, 2007's...

I think it also offers definitive proof that The Beast will do just fine coming up with 50 Things to Loathe without the Bush Administration to kick around.

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