Goodbye Y-Chromosome. Hello Minivan.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Way back in November of 2007, Smitty announced not only his incoming twins, but the impending purchase of a …gasp...minivan.

I reflected back on this post to see what crap I wrote about minivans and to see how much shit I gave Smitty about buying the darn thing. At the time, I said:

“You have to hand it to a guy who has enough confidence in his manhood to drive a minivan.

I just couldn't handle a mini being my daily driver. I am sure they ride and handle much better today, but the last one I drove made my pick-up feel sporty.

Oh, I will have to eat my words one day as a growing family will make the usefulness of the minivan unavoidable...dammit.”
Eat my words indeed. Tonight I pick up the glorious minivan.


The funny part is, I had talked my wife out of the minivan and into a three-row SUV…er crossover thingy. Then I priced them out. When a decent van is 6 to 7 grand less than a stripper Chevy crossover, the minivan gets pretty attractive.

I would never put this thing in the sporty category, but the new engine an transmission combo they just added can about tear the tires off the rims.  The engine has 283 HP for gods sake.  My old Mustang with a built 289 c.i. V-8 had about 240 HP. 

It ain't cool, but its the most practical vehicle for hauling around a bunch of people and stuff and the price was decent.


14 comments:

Smitty 12:26 PM  

Ah yes. Welcome to the wonderful world of Living Room On Wheels.

You also enter another new world: MILFs. When hot country club MILFs see a dude get out of a minivan instead of a woman, followed by a trail of kids...it's like gold diggers and Bentleys.

Bob 12:33 PM  

You mean chicks dig the van? I am think you are a "safe guy" when hopping out of a van with kids in tow.

Smitty 1:11 PM  

Young tight-skinned college chicks? No. 30- and 40- something MILF-a-liciousness? Totally.

Bob 2:25 PM  

BTW - I am not manly enough to make it my daily-driver. My wife will be the primary driver.

Smitty 3:07 PM  

I am not manly enough to make it my daily-driver

It is important you drive it to very public places when you get the opportunity. The beach, soccer practice, shopping. Places MILFs congregate.

Bob 3:15 PM  

"It is important you drive it to very public places when you get the opportunity. The beach, soccer practice, shopping. Places MILFs congregate...."

I'll bring my son. He is a chick magnet.

Bob 8:28 AM  

Brought home the van last night. It is very vanish.

steves 2:51 PM  

Took the plunge 5 years ago. I don't know if it is because I view a car/van/truck as a means to get from point a to point b, or if I just do view a car as some kind of phallic manifestation of my masculinity, it just never bothered me all that much to get a minivan.

Even when we were a one kid family, we were overwhelmed with all the shit you had to cart around. The only choices were an SUV or a minivan. Considering how much more an SUV costs and the lousy mileage they get, it wasn't really all that hard of a choice.

Bob 3:09 PM  

"...it just never bothered me all that much to get a minivan."

I think we might have met once at Smittys a few years ago. At the time I think you told me I needed to suck it up and get one.

Is your van a Saturn?

steves 7:11 PM  

Nope. We have a Honda. At that time, it was the best deal. There are a lot of decent choices now. I have never been to Smitty's house. He's never invited me.

Mr Furious 10:58 AM  

Damn. I'm all offended and shit that you didn't ask my opinion!

(not really)

But feel good about your decision, because we just had six minivans in a test last week: Grand Caravan, Town & Country, VW Routan (those three are all the same van, btw), Odyssey, the new Nissan Quest and the Sienna.

The Grand Caravan was by far the best deal and suprisingly nice—even compared to vans costing $10K more. I prefer the styling of the VW to the Dodge or Chrysler, but you can't add options a la carte, you have to take packages and you're over $40K to get what we had on a loaded Grand Caravan for under $35K.

The Odyssey is the nicest van around, but it's almost 45 grand topped out. The Sienna has the worst interior of all of them and thus, overrated and overpriced.

I was shocked by how nice that Dodge was, and wrote that it was the sleeper of the bunch. Unless you have money to burn, it's the best choice.

Mrs F's Odyssey is almost nine years old now, and we'll have to look hard at the Dodge when the time comes. Despite how much we loved our Honda, I'm not sure the extra money is justified anymore. The three Chrysler vans are that good.

Bob 10:37 AM  

"He's never invited me."

Bastard.

Bob 10:42 AM  

...was shocked by how nice that Dodge was, and wrote that it was the sleeper of the bunch. Unless you have money to burn, it's the best choice."

If they had not updated the engine and interior, I might have looked at other cars. I am more of a GM or Ford guy, but their three-row vehicles are CUV's.

It really is the best value car with three rows of seats. I am kinda a cheapskate when it comes to cars, so I could not beat what the Dodge had to offer with very few options.

Anonymous,  1:06 PM  

Smitty, it's time for an upgrade to V-10 power:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/2005-FORD-E350-EXTENDED-VAN-10-PASSENGER-4X4-CONVERSION-/250788592693?pt=US_Cars_Trucks&hash=item3a642a3c35

-Pols

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