Missing The Rapture

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Well, folks, at 6:00 pm on this Saturday, May 21, in the year of our Lord 2011, I was not Raptured. Nor were Mrs. Smitty's especially Jesusly Aunt and Uncle (who mind you, have spent an entire 24 hours praying over a cup).

I can only assume this to mean one of two things:

  1. Harold Camping is wrong and we truly cannot know God's divine will for ending creation

  2. It's not going happen any time, anywhere, save for 3.5 billion years from now when our sun runs out of hydrogen, loses it's equilibrium, swells to a red giant, and consumes the Earth

Either way, Harold Camping is wrong. Hide your surprise.

Wait...Monk In Training...are...are you still with us?

I might have to reserve, erm, judgment until we know if Monk is still here. If anyone is going to be reputed out of our stock of lunatics who are a part of is blog, it's him.

By the way, my pint of choice for awaiting the rapture was a bottle of Founders Kentucky Breakfast Stout. I could think of no better way to celebrate the end of the world or a simply beautiful Saturday afternoon than with that beer.


Monk-in-Training 9:24 PM  

Of course, your faithful Brother is here, and has been fervent in prayer, hoping through his intercessions to call all Tulsa sinners to repentance before it's too late.

However as a 'prayer concern' I can report a few of the somewhat less than worthy bits of idle gossip that have been swirling about the city today.

Jesus apparently arrived via Greyhound bus at the Detroit and Third Street stop sometime around 4:45PM. Unfortunately, the Fundamentalists who had barricaded off E. Second Ave in case of an impromptu Triumphal entry parade were sorely disappointed when it turned out to be a young Hispanic man coming to visit his Aunt Rosa.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were thought to have been spotted just to the north east of the city, but that turned out to be some cowboys who had gotten hammered at a local Biker bar, and things had gotten a bit out of hand.

And the last I heard, the Great Whore of Babylon was directing traffic with three other "ladies" of uncertain gender assignment near 11th and Harvard. I don't think that will turn out as reported, either...

All this silliness is to say that Christ Himself said that no one, no one of us failable, broken humans will know the day that He will call us to Him. No one is promised one more breath. That being said, I am happy you included me as one of your Lunatics, and will end the day with prayers in front of Our Lady's icon, and sip a wee glass of Chimay Ale made by my Trappist Brothers.

Good nite, and God bless.

Mrs. Smitty 9:31 AM  

Glad you're still with us, Monk! A d a fine glass of Chimay, like my KBS, is rapture enough!

steves 8:08 PM  

Harold Camping is wrong and we truly cannot know God's divine will for ending creation

Did anyone actually take this guy seriously?

Streak 9:55 PM  

This whole rapture business has made me want to buy some Chimay.

Bob 7:16 AM  

"Did anyone actually take this guy seriously?"

Unfortunately many did and some are in dismay after realizing they are still bound to the earth. Among others is the guy who spent $140K of his retirement on signs and ads announcing the upcoming end that never arrived.

steves 11:08 AM  

Define "many". I occasionally visit some Christian forums and post. This was as big of a joke there as it was here. I could be wrong, but this seems like fringe thinking.

Smitty 1:11 PM  

but this seems like fringe thinking.

It was. A mere handful of people took him seriously enough to sell all of their belongings or cash in their retirement accounts and "spread the word." Their lives are utterly ruined because of it, but that's not necessarily Harold's fault. It's theirs for being fucking gullible.

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