Friday Beer Pepto Review

Friday, July 18, 2008

Considering the rough times at the Smitty household, and the great pressure Smitty is under to not only care for his loving family of five, but also deal with the pressure of supplying ATK’s 1.6 Million readers with a weekly beer review, I have decided to step up to the plate.

Nope, I will not offer a beer review. I cannot do that justice. Instead, in honor of the current condition of Smitty’s stomach, I offer you a review for every person who has drank a little too much, or had some nasty bug fly through their family like wildfire.

Today's review is common enough in Michigan that you can consistently buy it at Meijers. I recommend that you do. Today, we're looking at the cleverly-named Pepto-Bismol. Pepto, from the Greek word referring to the digestive system and Bismol, named after the active ingredient, which contains bismuth.

I tried the 16 oz, original flavor Pepto, which poured into the handy (included) plastic shot glass as a bright pink color with a fluffy, yet thin, milky head that stuck like thick lace down the side of the plastic cup. The foamy top was accentuated when properly shaken.

Huge aromatic, sugary scents and bubblegum assault my nose. Underneath it all, hidden but there when you pay attention, are some more earthy scents.

The taste is a notch-up from the more common Milk of Magnesia or generic versions. Cotton candy was the overwhelming flavor, with a surprising amount of natural cane sugar and a touch of corn-syrup popping through. This elixir would be completely out of control if it weren't for the judicious use of bismuth, which faded into a chalky finish under all that sweetness. It has a creamy and smooth mouth feel on the tongue, that coated, soothed and relieved.

This Pepto is pretty tame, but for those who want a slightly heavier body and prefer a higher bismuth content (BBV) there is also maximum strength. For those who prefer a more fruity taste, Cherry is also available.

This original Pepto though could be quaffed one after another as the trips to the bathroom build or for really rough stomachs. (Use as directed.)

Well done, Procter and Gamble.

26 comments:

steves 7:49 AM  

Mmmm...bismuth.

Best review in a long time. I hope you feel better soon.

Smitty 10:57 AM  

That...was hysterical. You are now Bob "Chief Humorist."

Smitty 11:10 AM  

By the way...the new header ROCKS!! Thanks!

I have to keep the actual blog title, otherwise I have an untitled blog. That's why the name is on there twice. But I kinda like it too.

Never mind my last. You are now Bob "Chief Keg Tapper."

Sopor 2:09 PM  

Hahahaha! Very nice!

I'm a big fan of the Uncle-Pepty, as I like to call it (don't ask me why, somebody called it that in a movie once...), I try to always keep a bottle handy for those "special" nights when things get a bit "active" and I need something to calm "me" down...

Hall Monitor 11:09 AM  

Check out http://detentionslip.org for a story about a teacher who was arrested after throwing a keg party for teens.

Christian 9:45 AM  

So, does Pepto make an India Pepto Bismol for those that like a more bitter swig of the pink nectar? IPB? You might be onto something here as well- mixing the beer industry with Pepto. Pepto Lite. Pepto Stout, a more robust taste. Amber Pepto. Pepto Stripe, a Jamaican lager-esque drink. The list could go on. What a marketing dream!

Smitty 9:51 AM  

Has Christian found his Golden Ticket out of the doldrums of the middle-class?

Christian 9:57 AM  

I think so! Of course, I'll have to credit you for inspiring this dream of mine and that usually translates into monetary credit and then you have the typical fees that the government would want along with any permits from Pepto and then I can't forget the dividends to the ATK blog site and subsequent payouts for the lawsuit that would surely take place so my golden ticket should bring me around 32 cents when all is said and done.

P.S. I have a quart of maple elixir for you.

Smitty 10:05 AM  

I know...I'm going to Greg's Wednesday for our weekly Evening of Dorkery. If you're coming, bring it.

Bob "Serious McLiteral" 12:48 PM  

The one negitive thing about having beer-related Pepto is the fact that often when we are drinking Pepto, the last thing we want to think about is beer.

FYI to Smitty - I see you fixed the header - great. I can lengthen it if needed. I made it about the same length as the one at Riding with Rickey, but can make it longer.

Smitty 1:09 PM  

I think the header is great as-is. I don't think we need to lengthen it.

Don't forget to change your name.

Bob "Chief Keg Tapper" 1:12 PM  

"Don't forget to change your name.

Done.

Missives From Suburbia 8:00 PM  

It seems unfair that you can drink when you're breastfeeding, but not take Pepto-Bismol.

Thanks for swinging by on the blog.

Rickey Henderson 7:14 AM  

hah, funny shit indeed sir. nicely done.

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