This Week in Jackasserey

Thursday, October 15, 2009


6 year old Colorado boy found alive after setting balloon adrift.

So you chase tornadoes for a living, you named your kid "Falcon," and you built
a hot air balloon in your garage.

....uh hello, what the fuck did you think was going to happen?!!!

I really hope these idiots get handed the bill for the public resources that got burned up on this wild goose chase.

13 comments:

steves 6:12 PM  

I am glad everyone is ok. I guess I would have to know more before assigning jackass status. Kids can be pretty adventurous and get into things. I know that I did as a kid. As the father of a six year old I can verify that I wasn't the only one to do this.

Monk-in-Training 5:23 AM  

As things turn out the kid was hiding in the attic, and, thankfully was never in the balloon.

I can also concur with steves, having had three kids, I can tell you they are nothing if not a creative example of how chaos theory works in the real world. :)

Ms. Henderson 6:16 AM  

I guess I would have to know more before assigning jackass status.

Rickey has seen all he needs to know. This was a family that in their own words "chose to live life unafraid." Yeah, they were "extreme," totally. Douchebags.

Sure everybody's happy that the kid is OK. That's obvious. But pardon Rickey if he thinks it's shitty parenting to leave a hot air balloon for your six year old kid to easily hijack.

steves 6:47 AM  

That is what I would need to know. How supervised was the kid? How easy was it to hijack the baloon? A six year old doesn't need his parents hovering over him 24/7. Did your parents keep a constant eye on you? I was allowed some freedom to explore.

Rickey Henderson 6:58 AM  

Steeves: there's a video out there of the mom & dad taking the entire family directly into a tornado. Rickey rests his case.

steves 7:58 AM  

That does seem foolish, but I don't live in tornado country, so I don't really know anything about the risk.

I have worked with enough shitty parents, so my threshold for negligence is pretty high. I also take my six year old to the shooting range, which would probably freak the hell out of some excitible parents.

Mike 8:08 AM  

. . . and please don't forget Rickey's other point: they named their kid FALCON!

Not Dave, not Ryan, not even D'Brickashaw or Anfernee.

Falcon.

No, I'm sorry. The balloon and the tornadoes are just icing on that cake.

steves 8:23 AM  

Despite having a child with a "normal" name, I kind of like unusual names. That being said, Falcon is pretty lame, but not near as retarded as changing your last name to Ochocinco.

Like I said, my threshold is pretty high. I worked with a kid that shot another kid (no supervision combined with a loaded gun). I also had a client that prostituted her young children to buy drugs. It also seems that the summer is full of stories about parents that leave their kids in the car while they go shopping, drinking, or gambling. By comparison, balloon boy just doesn't seem all that close.

Bob 8:43 AM  

"By comparison, balloon boy just doesn't seem all that close."

True.

That said, any parent who creates an aircraft capable of lifting their kid off the ground and then leaves them unattended with it should be beaten senseless.

Smitty 9:00 AM  

Steve:

Stop defending or apologizing for this family. They "choose to live unafraid." If your family has a motto, you are douchebags. If I met a kid named Falcon when I was in school, I would punch him. And blame his parents for my violent outburst. I should know...I got pounded in school for my real first name.

Daddy drove his family into a tornado. That's douchebaggy.

I am fully willing to assess Jackass status.

steves 10:12 AM  

I am not defending. On the hierarchy of shitty parenting, this just doesn't do much for me. Weird as shit, yep. Negligent or bad parents, maybe.

The kid was never even in the balloon, so all we have is some kid letting a big balloon go. Big fucking deal.

Smitty 10:35 AM  

The kid was never even in the balloon, so all we have is some kid letting a big balloon go.

But it was so big! And shiny!

Mike 8:53 AM  

If I met a kid named Falcon when I was in school, I would punch him. And blame his parents for my violent outburst.

Now that's comedy.

One of my friend's ex-girlfriend had a brother whose name was Gompk. Apparently it means "strength," or something like that in Armenian.

But as I pointed out, it means "I'm gonna kick your ass" in American.

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