Tony the Tiger Never Knew What Hit Him

The Great American Beer Fest is so much more than a chance to try beers you've never had before; what's the point of a ridiculously-huge beer fest if you just drink what you know? That's like going to Per Se in New York and asking for a burger. No, the GABF also hosts a competition that separates the wheat from the chaff.

One of this year's winners is Michigan-born Cereal Killer. From Arcadia Brewing Company in Battle Creek, Michigan (home of Kellogg's), this huge barleywine promises to go homocidal on your tastebuds.
I'll avoid the temptation of saying that Cereal Killer pours a slight blood-red color, and instead go with this: Cereal Killer pours a hazy red cherry color (harbinger of things to come, perhaps) that deepens to a cloudy brown from the bottom of the glass towards the top. The thin egg-shell head dissipates quickly, yielding effervescent bubbles that form on the surface. This is a beautiful beer.

Sorry, Tony, but Frosted Flakes aren't so Grrrrrrrreat when it comes to the Killer. Sure this beer shares some of Cereal City's trademark roasted grain aroma (it just seems to float in the air in Battle Creek), but beats it and buries it under layers of juicy caramel, unsweetened cocoa powder, a hint of citrus and a heavy, sticky malt. If my breakfast cereal smelled like this, I'd have had trouble making it through school.

Cereal Killer hones-in on the tongue as much as it did the nose. Immediately, the tongue is battered about by a blend of heavy, rich caramel and syrupy-sticky malt. Mixed in to the malty syrup was roasted nuts, dried cherries and even some honey. Funny that something that reminds me of a happy, friendly ice cream sundae would be called cereal killer! At the end, a bit of bitterness peeked out of the cloyingly-sweet body of the beer, not so much from hops but more of a citrusy bitterness. The beer finished with a beautiful milk chocolate note that along with the hint of bitter was like oranges dipped in a fountain of cacao.

Cereal Killer finishes dry, and the moderately-high carbonation cleanses the tongue between sips. Yes, sips. This is no quaffing beer. This is a beer like a thick port or sherry wine; enjoy it among several people after dinner lest the whole bottle tire out your mouth. It is drinkable and enjoyable for a barleywine. I had to resist writing this up using murder euphemisms, because that is apart from the spirit of this beer. Cereal Killer, despite its name, is a sweet after dinner treat. Maybe the hipsters at Arcadia were going for the ironic thing? Perhaps, but whatever their goal in naming the beer, they certainly made a great barleywine, worthy of its recognition on a national stage.

Or perhaps the judges simply feared for their tongues.