The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I was going to lay off the lists for a while, but this was too good to pass up.  Besides, I figured it was a great follow-up to the badass Presidents.  I am familiar with most of them and am not all that surprised.  The ancient world was a pretty violent place, so I am not all that surprised that these passages can be found.  I sat in for Sunday School teacher and #8 was the lesson for that day.  I immediately thought of this poster and chuckled:


Smitty 9:06 PM  

There is so much material here I don't know where to start. Great link, Steve.

Moses and "turkey slapping." A few ords I never thought I'd see in the same sentence.

B Mac 8:41 AM  

My favorite passage:

"Egyptian ruins are littered with statues like the one on the right (this one is Min, the god of huge dong-having). They even invented the phallic obelisk to advertise it (picture the Washington Monument, that's an obelisk). That was their statement to the world: "Gaze upon our dick tower and despair." "

Sopor 8:49 AM  

You know... This is a prime example of what having a kind will do to you...

not following? Not surprised, it's early and I'm probably not making any sense.

But it's like this... God, back in the days of Abraham, Moses and the like, was all about some crazy shit! He loved gettin' out and partying with his people, burning a bush, parting a sea, smiting entires peoples... There was no shortage of temper to go around, and anything that got in his way would be DESTROYED!! No to mention the prostitutes, aforementioned turkey slapping, periodic destruction of all man-kind etc... I mean this guy was obviously HOT-BLOODED and knew how to throw a party! (Complete with Egyptians coming like horses!!) He was QUITE the bad-ass!

Move forward a few thousand years, and God gets himself a woman pregnant! (I'll stay away from mentions of wedlock and the "Galilee Underground" Rave where God met Mary, a handful of pills,and pure ecstacy in 5 BCE...) Now all of a sudden his views are changed! No more smiting and temper tantrums taking out entire nations! No more sacrifices, drugs, and all night parties! Gone are the ways of the "Young Man" God and in come the ways of Peace, Love, Understanding, and Gentle Care! Having a son TOTALLY changed God, he's not the same Fun-loving carefree, every now and then angry, God! He preaches about Patience, and Forgiveness... Two things he would've SWORN back in the pre-Jesus days would end with you 6 feet under!

God's changed man, and he's not the same cool cat he used to be, he's no fun to hang out with anymore, I haven't even seen him in centuries...

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